Sex Shouldn’t Hurt—Let’s Talk About It
Pain during sex is more common than most people realize, but it often goes unspoken. People with vaginas are especially likely to dismiss painful sex as "normal" or to assume they just need to "relax more."
Marisol, 29, came to therapy after years of painful intercourse. “I thought something was wrong with me,” she said. “Doctors told me it was in my head. But I couldn’t ignore it anymore.” She was later diagnosed with vaginismus, a condition where pelvic muscles involuntarily tighten, making penetration painful or impossible.
Sexual pain can take many forms. Vaginismus is just one example. Others include dyspareunia, which refers to persistent genital pain during sex, and vulvodynia, a chronic burning or stinging pain in the vulva without an obvious cause. Pain can also arise from hormonal changes, such as those during postpartum recovery or menopause, where dryness and thinning of tissue can lead to discomfort.
Sex therapy helps people address not just the physical, but also the emotional toll of painful sex. While medical care and pelvic floor physical therapy are often part of treatment, therapy supports individuals in understanding the fear, shame, or trauma that may accompany intimacy. It helps clients learn relaxation techniques, rebuild trust with their own bodies, and find new, non-painful ways to experience closeness.
After several months of therapy and physical treatment, Marisol shared," I finally felt like my body wasn't betraying me anymore. I felt safe in it."
Sex therapy reminds you that pain is not something to push through. It’s a signal that deserves attention and compassionate care.